What is the secret to a happy and fulfilling work life? For most of us juggling our corporate careers as best we can, the answer remains elusive.
As host of the FT's Working It podcast, I've spoken to hundreds of experts about this question and learned a lot from my colleagues. My new book looks at how to navigate this chaotic world of work. It covers everything from determining what your potential employers really look like, to building your “brand” without the hassle factor and dealing with unpleasant team members or inattentive bosses.
There's no quick path to office nirvana. But here are my top five ideas for surviving at work.
Look in the mirror before you criticize your boss.
In our minds, the workplace functions like a parallel fantasy world. Like a 1970s Doctor Who episode, it's low budget but removed from “actual life,” a place where we become better versions of ourselves. The truth is less glamorous. We go to work carrying a heavy suitcase full of recent emotional baggage, life-long disappointments, and some childhood relics.
Some of this baggage is not useful to you or your colleagues. This can sabotage your career. But you can do your best to overcome it. A psychoanalytic concept called the “third place” can help, says Gabriella Brown, director of workplace relations consultancy Working Well. It involves stepping outside of ourselves, to see our interactions as an observer would.
I have been adopting the third position and although the results have been mixed, it represents a huge and beneficial shift in mindset. Focusing on “your behavior as others see it,” Brown says, helps reveal what you and your baggage bring to tense or difficult encounters, so you can respond to them with more insight and understanding.
Everyone wants to hear but no one wants to listen
If you haven't experienced corporate taunts about leaders listening to employees, where have you been over the past four years? The pandemic has ushered in an era in which presidents are becoming more compassionate. Or rather, presidents who tried to be more sympathetic.
Sometimes it is difficult to listen carefully in a business context, especially when there is a power imbalance. For busy managers, every meeting has a goal, and when employees bring up other concerns, they derail the mission to achieve that goal. However, better listening can improve almost everything at work.
Start listening better by refusing to think about what you're going to say next. Focus on what your team member or boss is saying. Take this into consideration and ask questions.
Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators, recommends a technique called “comprehension loops.” First you have to ask a question. Then repeat – in your own words – what you heard. Third, ask your colleague if you got it right. Doing this gives your colleague permission to say, “There's something you missed,” Duhigg says, and allows everyone to acknowledge that they were understood. He says it's a “great feeling.”
Generation Z is showing us the future of work
The impact of Generation Z (people born between 1997 and 2012) on the workforce will be enormous: perhaps the most significant shift in decades.
I am not ruling out the importance of artificial intelligence here. I believe the human aspect of work will become more important as machines free people from administrative tasks. And Generation Z is different from the rest of us. Really different.
The common notion that young people want to cancel managers for faulty thinking is a simplification, but many Gen Zers expect accountability for what they see as mistakes. They're also open about mental health struggles, which are widespread: a recent report found that one in three 18- to 24-year-olds report a mental health condition.
They also exert what Sydney Roach, head of employee experience at Edelman, calls a “pull” on the workforce. She says everyone else will adapt to Generation Z and not the other way around: the old standards need to be retired.
Hence, keeping young employees healthy and engaged will be a major investment, and managers' future may be in overseeing personal well-being as well as professional development. Few employers have captured the scale, scope and seismic impact of this change.
Managers are made, not born
And I'm sorry to say that, before writing about work, I didn't associate good managers with training and support. I guess I believed in the management “gene” that means people who are naturally empathetic and understanding become great team leaders, while people who are dogmatic and less emotionally intelligent make terrible managers.
I was wrong. Anyone can become a good manager. But without the right preparation, support and development, no one can do it.
Despite this, about 80 per cent of the UK's eight million managers have no formal training – they are 'casual managers', as the Chartered Management Institute describes them.
If this is you, you are not alone. But you shouldn't accept that. Ask for training, support or a coach, otherwise you will flounder. And your team will miss out on the benefits of great management, something the CMI has shown dramatically boosts productivity and engagement.
Take more chances: You will regret it if you don't
When big opportunities come, you may have to put in a little more work to make the most of them.
I knew writing a book would be a weekend project. I also knew it wasn't sustainable. But it didn't have to be that way: it was only for a limited time. You have to decide how much is too much, but I suggest that if the extra work is intrinsically satisfying, for your progress, interest, or enjoyment, then it's worth considering.
Do you do a lot of extra stuff because someone asks you to, without getting appreciation or career growth? Just say no (although I realize this is not always possible).
Maybe it's a good idea to remember author Daniel Pink's advice: As we get older, we're more likely to regret what we didn't do. Career regret shows that “we should have a slight bias towards action,” Pink told the Financial Times, “just to try things and be less worried about the risks.”
I love that sentence. It's probably the best thing I've learned.
“The Future-Proof Career: Strategies for Thriving at Every Stage” was published April 11 by Pavilion Books.
